On the Road Again...

Willie Nelson, in his song from the 1980s, sings about how he just can't wait to get back on the road again. And it is so for many senior citizens whose last vestige of independence is getting behind the wheel of their cars. But when is it unsafe for them to do so? The way this determination is made nowadays is when a tragedy occurs--or not.

In this article in today's New York Times http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/17/opinion/17haas.html?th&emc=th, an orthopedic surgeon who was hit by a 75 year old driver while riding his bike tells his story. He explains that the driver received a small fine and was driving again without pause. He advocates for the inception of periodic driver tests for senior citizens before licenses are reissued. As the only child of a senior citizen I'm praying Ohio will pass such a law!

My mother fell and broke her arm near her shoulder last spring. In the days following this fracture, while on the pain reliever percidan, she took off her sling and drove around her small town running errands. I was told this by her friends. I agonized what to do from my home 800 miles away where my 7 and 9 year old children were in the midst of school and activities and my husband was working at his full time at his job with deadlines. I wasn't able to pick up and go do the thing someone needed to do--hold her keys or unplug the spark plugs of her car until it was safe for her to drive again.

I spent the next 3 weeks agonizing and phoning. I spoke to her friends and asked for their help. I spoke to my cousin to ask for her help. I spoke to her minister and pleaded for his help. They all responded by calling my mother and offering to get her anything she needed or take her anywhere she wanted to go. But my mother didn't want to hear that, she just wanted to drive. And she did. She thanked them for their offers of help and shoved the keys in the ignition.

I begged her lawyer to intervene who advised me to "get her Dr. to take them away". I spoke to her doctor who said, "I can't do that". I contemplated calling friends I know in the local law enforcement agencies who are police and deputy sheriffs to stake out her house and take her keys away until it was safe.

I had a real and legitimate fear that she would be the cause of a tragedy for herself and/or some unwitting person also on the roads. Neither of us could live with that with any degree of sanity or peace if that were to happen--well at least I couldn't. So I did all that was left to me to do--I prayed that she and those around her would be safe.

Finally her closest and dearest friend stepped in and took away her keys until the doctor told her she could drive again. So thankfully this episode ends without tragedy--at least for now.

I talking with someone in my hometown last week on the phone and they recounted the tragedy of a 91 year-old-woman who was at the drive up lane of the local grocery store where a young grocery clerk was loading her groceries into her car. Her driver's door was open along with the read passenger door where her groceries were being loaded. Somehow her foot hit the accelerator and she spun the car around nearly missing the grocery clerk. She was thrown out of the car and killed and her car came to a halt when it hit other cars in the parking lot.

Right now, I am the person who must make the determination as to whether my mother should drive or not. I'm not comfortable with this responsibility, nor do I think it fair to my mother or to me to have to make that determination. I made it a point to be a passenger alone in her car with her when we were visiting her a few weeks ago to silently evaluate her driving. I will again have this opportunity in a couple weeks when she picks me up from the airport. But in fairness to her I'm not really qualified to make the judgment as to whether or not she should drive. It would be much fairer for her if someone from the DMV made this determination. They have the equipment and expertise to judge her driving capabilities. They should be the ones making that determination for my mother and others over 65.

In the meantime, I'll just keep singing and praying because my mother is...On the Road Again.