I'm trying to figure out whether I'm related to Diana Estill. I started to subscribe to her newsletter about a year ago. In her latest issue of "Totally Skewed" which I got today, she lists some great upcoming books--so I thought I'd share it with you!
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The Totally Skewed Newsletter, June 2007
Written by: Diana Estill, Syndicated Columnist
www.dianaestill.com
Our Mission: This newsletter attempts to entertain those who are lost,
confused, bored or satisfactorily unemployed. But all
others are welcome.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
A message from Diana:
If the books I discovered at BookExpo America in New York City
are any indication, 2007 may be one of the best years ever for readers!
I’ve just returned from two days of camaraderie with others in
the book industry, where I made some new friends—one of
whom was Bill Dyszel, a funny short filmmaker. (He’s not short, but
his films are.) You can view some of Bill’s hilarious works by visiting
his website, www.cinemasolo.com. What makes this guy so
amazing is that he produces, acts and sings in, and writes the music for all
of his videos. A former singer with The New York City Opera, he
has incredible talent AND he’s just written a book titled
YouTube Moviemaking, available at http://www.lulu.com/content/488248.
You may recognize Bill’s name. He’s also the author of several Microsoft
Outlook for Dummies books.
Here’s a quick peek at some forthcoming humor books:
I Am America, by Stephen Cobert (of The Cobert Report fame)
The Sweet Potato Queens’ First Big Ass Novel, by Jill Conner-
Browne
Things I Overheard While Talking to Myself, by Alan Alda
The Pulpwood Queens’ Tiara-Wearing, Book-Sharing Guide to
Life, by Kathy L. Patrick (She’s from Jefferson, Texas!)
Fat, Forty, & Fired, by Nigel Marsh
Crazy Aunt Purl’s Drunk, Divorced, & Covered in Cat Hair, by
Laurie Perry
Also, my friend and fellow humor columnist Susan Reinhardt’s new
book, Don’t Sleep with a Bubba is in bookstores now. Susan
is a riot. (Be advised that her humor is sometimes racy.)
The newsletter story for this month is titled “Toto, We Ain’t in Texas Anymore.”
You might say that it was inspired by several New York taxi rides.
Enjoy your first month of summer—and don’t forget to honor dads
on June 17!
Until next time . . .
Your Totally Skewed Columnist,
Diana Estill
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In This Issue:
- Column--“Toto, We Ain’t in Texas Anymore”
- Wacky Days This Month – Humorous and odd days to celebrate in June
- Other fun links
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Toto, We Ain’t in Texas Anymore
Copyright © 2007 Diana M. Estill
(Feel free to share this story with family and friends, as long as you include my copyright notice.)
“I was worried when I heard about the terrorist plot at JFK,” my mother said. However,
I’d flown into the New York area through LaGuardia Airport instead of JFK International. Now home,
I thought it best not to tell Mom that the greatest risk I’d experienced had nothing to do with
air travel. The worst threat to my safety had been waiting for me at the taxi stand.
I had arrived in Manhattan psyched to attend BookExpo America, the largest publishing trade
event in the U.S. During the next few days, I would have the chance to rub elbows, bellies, boobs
and behinds with 30,000 sweaty strangers sandwiched inside a cavernous funhouse full of publishers,
authors, book buyers and librarians—or people who at least pretended to know one.
Jacob Javits Convention Center, in New York City, is a monstrous glass structure that could
have been designed by a drunken architect. The second level is wedged, here and there, in sections
(ones keenly disguised as food courts) between the sprawling first and third floors. Thus, you can never
be certain where you are when you’re inside this facility. To distract visitors from navigational challenges,
the interior is kept at a perfect temperature for rising yeast breads. Further aggravating these conditions
is the number of ladies’ restroom stalls, which falls somewhere between insufficient and scarce enough
to ignite a women’s war.
In other words, the place was pretty much ideal if you happen to be a prairie dog.
Anyway, I was so lost inside this behemoth building full of booksellers that I didn’t even know
about the terrorist plot at JFK until a day after it had been reported. Primarily I’d been focused on
surviving the convention center and the streets of New York.
During one of several cab rides, my driver, Ahmed (the first of three taxi operators I encountered
who all either shared the same name or, possibly, license), flew through a tunnel as if the paparazzi
might have been following us. Since I’m not famous, I was pretty sure they weren’t.
Do you know how many lanes exist within a typical, one-way, New York City street? As many as
users feel like making.
Times Square roadways are clotted with busses, cars, bicycle rickshaws, horse carriages and foot
traffic (often including a naked singing musician)—all competing for the same lane!
Apparently, the New York Taxi Driving and Tourist Intimidation School teaches a methodology
for saving time and maximizing trip turns. Taxis generally keep to the far left on one-way streets, where
they travel at car-chase speeds, ignoring nuisances such as crosswalks, stoplights and unarmed pedestrians.
At the last possible moment—like maybe an inch or two before taking out an unsuspecting vacationer—they
whip to the right, often crossing three lanes to make an abrupt directional change.
I suspect turn indicators are an optional feature on New York taxis because cabbies never use them.
Flipping on a signal would only tip off their opponents.
“It’s like a game,” explained my driver, his mouth twisting into a fiendish grin. “Whoever gets there
first, goes.” He shrugged. “You just honk and keep moving.”
“Yes,” I said, nodding to indicate I understood. “We have those games in Texas, where I’m from, too.
Drivers who cut off other drivers get killed. Somebody just pulls out a pistol and shoots them.”
Read more stories like this one at www.dianaestill.com.
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WACKY DAYS TO CELEBRATE THIS MONTH
June 7 – VCR Day (Just give up and let it film whatever it wants.)
June 15 – Recess at Work Day (When was it “Work at Work Day?”)
June 18 – National Splurge Day (Got Chocolate?)
June 21 – Pee on Earth Day (No thanks. I’d rather flush.)
June 22 – Stupid Guy Thing Day (Shouldn’t “thing” be plural?)
June 23 – Let it Go Day (Notice this follows Stupid Guy Thing Day?)
June 25 – Please Take My Children to Work Day (Better still, hire them.)
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Fun Links
http://humorwriters.org – homepage for Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop
http://lovelaughs.com – jokes and one-liners about love
http://bandersnatch.com – a funny news spoof site
http://humorgazette.com – news satire site
http://www.womensfunnyvideos.com – silly stories and video movies
http://ahajokes.com – a directory of purportedly “clean” humor
http://www.laughfish.com – a funny news spoof site
http://www.southernhumorists.com – humorists writing about all things Southern
http://www.parenttoparent.com – good site for parenting humor
http://www.sanitycentral.com – amusing stories about parenting and other daily life experiences
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Subscribe to Totally Skewed by sending an e-mail message with
the word “subscribe” in the subject line to destillopinions@aol.com.
Totally Skewed is a free humor newsletter published monthly.
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